There may be times when—although you want something—there is an incongruency between your desire and your belief that your desire is possible. Let’s say for example, you wrote a desire and you said it to yourself and at the end of the three months nothing had happened. Yet, it is something that really is important to you. Then, it’s time to examine what in your thinking is keeping your desire from manifesting.
Today, I’m going to share three tips that can help remove the blocks.
Tip 1: Using denials. On page 24 in my book, Thrival Skills 101: Path to Joy…Moving from Survival to Thrival, I discuss using denials in conjunction with affirmations. A denial is a mental process for erasing from consciousness false beliefs and attitudes. Denials are not to be confused with the idea of “denial” as we traditionally think of it when we simply ignore or pretend that a particular situation or condition does not exist. We do not deny, for example, that we have cancer. We deny that cancer has the power to kill us. We do not deny the power that “fear” plays in our life; we do deny “fear’s” ability to have power in our lives. Denial, as we are using it, is a way of saying “no” to our limiting and false beliefs. They are relinquishments of mental or emotional states and are best made as a simple statement of a fact. First, we say what we don’t want. Then it’s important that denials be followed immediately with an affirmation as the universe abhors a vacuum.
Examples of denials:
My fears are no longer the focus of my attention.
The belief that I am unworthy (unlovable, clumsy, stupid, etc.) no longer has power in my life.
I let go of my fear of making choices.
My personal experience with using denials is that they must be stated with resolve. Sometimes I even yell them out. I want to make certain my subconscious gets the message!!!
Tip 2: Imaging the change happening over time. Sometimes it is too big a leap to see ourselves going from our present state to the desired state in one fail swoop. If that is the case, it’s helpful to moderate our affirmation into a believable statement by adding the words: I AM IN THE PROCESS OF…
Another possibility I also use is: Each day my________________ gets better and better. You fill in the blank.
Tip 3: The Focus Wheel Process. This process is described in detail in the book, Ask and It is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Ester and Jerry Hicks. For this exercise, take out a piece of paper, imagine a wheel with its hub, spokes and rim. Draw two circles. In the hub circle, write your desire or your affirmation. Draw in 8-12 spokes. On each one of the spokes, we are going to write a statement that gets you closer and closer to your desired reality.
Let’s use the following example. I feel poor and I want to feel prosperous. I have written the following affirmation in the hub circle.
I have all the money I need to support the desires of my heart.
Let’s say, for whatever reason, I have not been able to really accept the truth of that statement for me. I take my focus wheel and I create the words for my first spoke. It’s important to write general statements that I can believe. If I start with a statement that is too personal, I will feel the disconnect in my body.
Statement 1: I love the idea of financial well-being. I can feel and accept that statement as true. So, I write it on my first spoke.
Statement 2: I do know that I can change my thoughts about anything. When I write this statement, I feel a disconnect in my body. I’m not yet ready to accept the truth of this statement for this particular situation So, I look for another statement that helps me move around the circle that I can accept.
Statement 2 revised: I do know it’s a matter of changing my vibration. This is a statement that I can both accept and one that moves me closer to my desired reality. I write it on my second spoke.
Statement 3: I know that I can tell by the way I feel how well I am doing. Okay, yes, I can accept that. I place it on my third spoke.
Statement 4: I do know that I am good at focusing on some subjects. Yes, that’s also a definite, and it is moving me forward. Fourth spoke.
Statement 5: I do recognize that the subject of money is one I’ve negatively practiced for a while. Yes, this has been true for me. Fifth spoke.
Statement 6: I do know that I can change my thoughts about anything. By now, my confidence is growing, and I can accept the truth of this statement whereas earlier I was not able to. Sixth spoke.
Statement 7: I do know that in changing my thoughts I can achieve more money. I understand that the focus wheel is not about getting more money, it is simply about offering no resistance to money. It takes a lot of pressure off me to consider the idea of simply offering no resistance to having more money. I can relax into that statement. Seventh spoke.
Statement 8: I am reaching for the feeling of relief that releasing resistance around money will give me. Yes, this works! Eighth spoke.
Statement 9: I love being calm about money. I’m getting that it is about changing my mind, not about getting results. What a relief. All I need to do is change my mind!! Ninth spoke.
Statement 10: I know that as my thoughts/vibration changes, I will automatically get better results. Oh, I can definitely buy into this statement now, because all of a sudden, I am able to recall other times in my life when through no effort on my part, I began to notice positive shifts. Tenth spoke.
Statement 11: I am expecting good results as I continually hold my mind in a better feeling place. Oh, I am getting close to my desired goal now. I can feel the shift. My job is to help myself into a better feeling place and the results will follow. Eleventh spoke.
Statement 12: I am there right now. I am holding my mind in a better feeling place right now. I have made it. I have shifted my thinking from one of lack to one of possibility. Another word for prosperity in my book. Twelfth spoke.
Research is showing us that contrary to beliefs that the body is a dense structure of flesh and bones, our bodies are elegant, ethereal fields of waves within innumerable feedback circuits. Therefore, we now understand that thoughts and feelings can set off sympathetic vibrations and these vibrations connected with the power we have called “intentionality” can produce transformation in weeks, days, or perhaps even minutes.
As a reminder, when you use this powerful tool we call affirmations, remember to ask yourself: Is this change a healthy one? How will this change affect others in my life? And—most importantly—Do I really want this change?